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A quick guide on how to spot 'pap' music: |
My Interests and Hobbies
(assuming you're interested...)
In the words of the song, "Music was my first love...blah blah blah". Nowadays it plays second fiddle to my wife of course, but I retain a healthy interest in it. I compose and perform but unfortunately not as much as I used to. My primary instrument is the guitar but I play bass and keyboards from time to time. Do you want to listen to some of my stuff? Nah, I didn't think so.
Jazz
Jazz is my passion; but I have to define jazz here: Jazz music was never really meant to sound like 'Dixieland' or 'Traditional'. These were simply stepping stones from inception to the finest incarnations that you can hear today. I guess I could narrow my love down to a particular style - so-called 'Jazz Fusion'. Listen to Miles Davis, Chick Corea and even Spyrogyra. It's all about quality of composition, musicianship and avoiding the current predilection for a mindless 'thump thump' beat (include disco here).
My fave band
My fave band of all time is Steely Dan. Listen to them for long enough, and you will see how one could easily slip into a desire for more jazz. To my mind, they are the masters of mixing quirky pop/rock with jazz inflections. Get an album like 'The Royal Scam' and delight in the musical uniqueness of their perfect compositions and the jaw-dropping session musicianship. Just don't expect any Top-10 chart sounds...
Real Music
Would it be
too pretentious to assume that most average to above-average intelligent people
need music that is 'classical' in nature? By that I mean that one should be able
to listen to it time after time without tiring of it. Will you want to be
listening to Eminem or most of the mindless pap that passes for today's music in
a couple of year's time? I put it to you, members of the jury: probably not.
The reason is that most of today's music is born out of the record company's
overriding greed in making money for their shareholders. The ensuing music will
therefore be ephemeral, throwaway, cheap and will not stand the test of time.
A quick guide on how to spot 'pap' music:
Is the artist primarily interested in making quality music, or are they in it to cynically establish a fan base of adolescent girls and others who don't know any better?
Are they flaunting the money they've sucked out of you?
Do you subscribe to, and copy the band's mode of dressing or lifestyle?
Do you worship at their feet as if they really were Gods?
Would your world be desolated if you were prevented from listening to them ever again?
I shall now step down off my soap box..
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Where would we be without comedy? It's especially important to me because I spend lot of time in the car. In traffic jams. Frustrated and angry at general driving indiscipline. You get the picture.
All tension disappears when I pop
on a comedy CD. It makes the difference between:
a. Being scooped up off the road by a policeman
or
b. Arriving at the office with a cheery wave, bowler hat jauntily nestling on
one side of my head and my secretary greeting me with a cup of fresh coffee.
I've
recently (Oct 2005) become a huge fan of Milton Jones. He's
a stand-up comic with a brilliant deadpan delivery. I first heard him on BBC
Radio 4's weekly comedy slot 18:00-18:30 in his series Another Case of Milton
Jones. His style ranges from the surreal to the silly. Puns and one-liners
are delivered with impeccable timing. Despite the silliness he makes me laugh
like a drain. He's also completely family-rated (that means no bad language at
all, mum and dad). Here's some quotes and clips for you to check out:
Our quietest Christmas ever was when my dyslexic mother iced the cake with temazepam.
I got arrested for playing chess in the road. I said: It's because I'm black, isn't it?
I never got on with my Yoga teacher... which often put me in a difficult position.
When my granddad was ill my grandma rubbed lard all over his back. He went downhill very quickly after that.
I used to live in a grade 2 listed building, which means that everybody in it had to be quite good at the piano.
She put on something slinky... I could tell, just by the way she came down the stairs.
The other day I was reading that magazine for people who've had their stereo stolen: What Hi Fi.
At the end of every day my father goes round the house pulling out all the plugs and turning off the lights. He's very safety conscious. Quite why he got the sack from air traffic control...
My grandparents were called Pearl and Dean, but of course we always knew them as Grandma and Grand... papa papa papa papa pa pa pa papa papa.. paaaa!
Mum used to cut our hair every Christmas, and then we'd have turkey with all the trimmings.
People say "Oh, I'm in P.R., I'm in P.R.", but I think I was 12 years old when I had a paper round.
My mother was a dinner lady. My father was a dinner gentleman. Together they gave me the best start in life possible: prawn cocktail.
I prefer to do my shopping in a hot air balloon. It can be difficult to navigate around the aisles with just the burner for control, but it really comes into its own when you get to the 'one basket only' checkout.
Yes, all corny and groan-inducing, but it strikes
a chord with my warped sense of humour.
| Audio clip | (MP3) |
| Video clip | (WMV - Windows Media Player) |
Milton on BBC's Music Hall Meltdown, May 2007.
I have a lot more of his stuff, mostly recorded off BBC's Listen Again service. If you want to trade, do email me.
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